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Links 1 through 10 of 15 by Latoya Peterson tagged dating

"If I’m the lone voice still squeaking out a word of hope, I’m gonna stand up on my soapbox and do just that. I love Black men. Even though I’m frustrated and befuddled right along with my sisters, I’m also not willing to give up on my dream of raising a beautiful Black family, complete with a beautiful Black husband. If that means I’m wasting my time, so be it. But I’d rather tread water in a ship headed to my desired destination than flounder in a lifeboat that’s purely functional."

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Great perspective here - LDP "What I’m actually used to men doing is attacking me once they start intellectual fights they can’t finish. I’m used to men putting me in the friend zone because they find my smarts intriguing but not sexy. I’m used to men straight up belittling and insulting me—calling me stupid, unattractive, or using “feminist” like an expletive—in order to get the upper hand when they feel intellectually outmatched."

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"As for the reasons the author cites for black women perhaps being reluctant to date outside of our race…like what our babies may look like or having to explain our hair…I’m still trying to figure out how the hell he walked right past the giant History of Sexualization & Exploitation of Black Women in America elephant in the damn room.

Contrary to a scenario mentioned in the article, my hair hasn’t been a hurdle to romance or sex or commitment.

Being told more than once that a prospective date has “always wanted to try a black chick” is."

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"Strauss recalls his first meeting with the heiress in 1999, during which the 18-year-old Hilton did some ecstasy, made out with David 'Bud Bundy' Faustino and dropped a little racial bomb. The author claims that Hilton was horrified to find out that 'the guy from Saving Private Ryan' who she’d made out with was actually Black (that mysterious light-skinned gent would be Vin Diesel, btw) and states that she 'can’t stand Black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross.' However, her comments do give one pause. While Hilton’s phrasing was offensive and racist, I’m not quick to judge her personal preference. For all the people taking offense to her words (again, I’m not pardoning her way of expressing her disinterest at ALL), how many Black folks out there have little to no attraction to members of other races? *Raises hand*"

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"Yesterday, my mid-afternoon enjoyment of Michel Martin's dulcet, NPR tones was interrupted by a Tell Me More guest who let slip the most remarkable series of ignorant non-sequiturs on the topic of inter-racial dating that I have ever heard. It perhaps didn't help that the topic at hand was dating and unemployment, which was just the opening Davies needed to knit together her ethnic stereotypes with her fiscal stereotypes and make a cute little stereotype sweater."

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“I think some white women are extremely attractive” and “I’m completely enamored and in love with black women” aren’t mutually exclusive concepts. In fact, they’re the complete opposite of mutually exclusive, they’re, ummm, whatever the complete opposite of “mutually exclusive” happens to be.

Anyway, this—a black man can’t possibly prefer to be with a black women if he thinks any white women are attractive—is definitely one of the three most prominent things everyone knows to be true about black men…that totally aren’t true at all."

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"Finally, Williams is clearly wrong on two accounts: 1) Black women don’t need to be convinced to give “vanilla a chance.” Black women can date anyone of any race. Black women who want to stay down for their brothers should be respected for their choice. For those who want to date outside of their race, why is white the only acceptable alternative? I suppose other men of color fail to measure up to her almighty white standards as well. 2) There aren’t eight reasons why black women should date outside of their race. There’s only one: common interest. A date is not a lifelong commitment. If you have something in common, no mater what color he is, go out, have a great time, learn something about yourself and someone else in the process. It might be the best way to eradicate these heinous essentialized notions. One date at a time."

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"Sure, the show had its share of disappointments. Two Arab characters fall in love—yet instead, Sayid hooks up with a spoiled blonde in the afterlife? Get outta here. Jin and Sun speak in English during their last moments together? Come on.

But what sounds so simple—the love between the two Asians—makes you wonder why we don’t see it more often on American television. For Asian Americans, a pop culture representation of two Asians kissing is an urban legend akin to Bigfoot: Have you seen it?"

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"What messages are being reinforced here? Don't aim too high. Take what you can get. Your worth rests on your ability to get a man. And to the men: If you have an education, congratulations, you're a commodity, because no one expected that much from you.

Juxtapose this with the usual depictions of successful, single white women: Confident. Independent. Desirable. Singlehood is not something white women are afflicted with in popular media. White women are living their lives; they are not waiting."

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"There is a huge chasm between white women who frame their experience in terms of feeling pressure to live up to a harsh set of standards versus women who live on the margins yet are still expected to adhere to the same standards that do not even recognize their existence. The former often focuses on specific traits such as blondness, thinness without much critical examination, with the expectation that intersectionality should have no bearing on the discourse."

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