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Links 1 through 10 of 52 by Just Mohit tagged funny

Dear esteemed graduation speech-givers,
This is the graduating class of 2012. This year all of you have stunned us with graduation speeches of exceptional quality all over India. Many of us have been touched by your inspirational words.
Usually people like you are so busy, and getting time for a frank tete-a-tete is hugely challenging.
Therefore, we relish this rare chance to give you feedback. Hello! Please keep your BlackBerry on the table, your iPad in your bag, sit up and listen boss. Focus. Come on!
But otherwise overall the class of 2012 has been truly inspired by the speeches all of you have made. We step forth into the real world fully aware of the power of public virtue and private hypocrisy.

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Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it.
Please don’t be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.
I don’t know if you’ve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize...
So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? And the honest answer is this. You won’t. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience...
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency...
Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may...
And the other thing….that I will say is, when I spoke earlier about the world being broke, I was somewhat being facetious, because every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant.

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Another really good commencement speech!

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Today is about you -- you who have worked so hard to pack your heads with learning until your skulls are all plump like -- sausage of knowledge. It's an apt metaphor, don't question it. But now your time at college is at an end. Now you are leaving here. And this leads me to a question that just isn't asked enough at commencements. Why are you leaving here?
This seems like a very nice place. They have a lovely website. Besides, have you seen the world outside lately? They are playing for KEEPS out there, folks. My God, I couldn't wait to get here today just so I could take a breather from the real world. I don't know if they told you what's happened while you've matriculated here for the past four years. The world is waiting for you people with a club. Unprecedented changes happening in the last four years. Like globalization. We now live in a hyperconnected, global economic, outsourced society...
But you seem nice enough, so I'll try to give you some advice. First of all, when you go to apply for your first job, don't wear these robes. Medieval garb does not instill confidence in future employers -- unless you're applying to be a scrivener. And if someone does offer you a job, say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least you'll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing...
Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say "yes." And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say "yes" back.
Now will saying "yes" get you in trouble at times? Will saying "yes" lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don't be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cyni

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It’s been a hell of a year for consumer privacy, or the lack thereof...
Now Congress is debating new privacy laws and the FTC has weighed in with proposals for a No Tracking List to thwart nosy Web advertisers...the online data industry immediately began trash talking the FTC’s ideas, calling for even more ‘self regulation’...
Apparently, the 10 years online data mongers have been given to come up with privacy protections that actually protect privacy hasn’t been enough. Just give them another 10 years and they promise they’ll get it right.
I’ve got a better solution. Instead of a welter of new laws or regulations, how about just one: The Honest Privacy Policy Act. The HPPA would require every company to post a simple, direct, and brutally honest policy detailing what really happens to your data.
To help this proposal along I’ve come up with one of my own – and it’s 5,085 words shorter than Facebook’s. Here’s what a real privacy policy might look like:

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(An interview with the MOST FAMOUS innkeeper in history! NOT TO BE taken seriously!!)
Joe comes in and asks for a room, and I tell him we’re all out of rooms and have been for months. Foot races. Theater groupies. And such. And he says, come on, please. I’ve got a pregnant lady with me. And I say, you hear that down the hall? I’m full up with pregnant ladies. And he says, this baby is important. And I say, hey, buddy, I don’t care if he’s the Son of God, I don’t have any rooms.
So there’s some irony there.
I guess so. And then he says, look, we’ll take anything. And so I say, as a joke, all right, you can go and sleep with animals if you like. And he says fine and slaps some money on the counter.

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for all the mactards, this iPhone4 vs HTC Evo video just takes the cake (NSFW)

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