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Links 1 through 10 of 22 by Chris Yeh tagged penelopetrunk

At first I gravitated to the ENTPs. They have tons of ideas, which Js like, because we can implement the ideas. And the ENTPs are great a office politics, so people often mistake themselves for getting along with ENTPs at work (when really the ENTP is just manipulating the Js, but that’s for another post!) What I found is that ENFPs were far more likable than ENTPs, and in fact, the ENFPs had vision but also have a likability that seems to prevail in any situation you put them in. If the ENTPs manipulate people do to great things, the ENFPs inspire people to do great things. TheENFPs change the world by connecting with people in a way that makes them over perform. ENFPssee possibility for greatness where no one else sees it. Once I understood this, I started watching management teams closely. Where there are ENTPs there is an intensely competitive environment of office politics. Where there are ENFPs the company is reaching high enough to attempt seemingly impossible feats.

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I discovered that I want to see my kids grow up and find their own paths. I want to see how they turn out. More than anything. This should not surprise me because when I was at the World Trade Center, and it fell, and I couldn’t see and couldn’t breathe, time slowed down. I stood still and thought: This is it it. Now I will die. Then I thought: I was so looking forward to watching my life unfold. I’m so disappointed to not see my brothers grow into adults. I’m so disappointed to not watch my marriage unfold into a family. That’s all: disappointment about not getting to watch family grow and make choices. I had a big career. I never felt sad that I would not do any more of my big job. We don’t know the meaning of life, but we know that relationships matter more than anything, and watching them unfold is the most enjoyable part of life: Watching people make decisions and be themselves and connect themselves to us. This is all what life is about.

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So what I realize is that I needed to make a big shift in my life: from thinking that men are useful tools for getting where I want to go, to men being potential teammates. It’s a more difficult shift than I anticipated because if you’re really good at work in your 20s, then you are probably already leveraging your ability to make men nuts over you. And if you are really good at marriage in your 30s then you are leveraging your ability to be a good teammate and care about the guy’s feelings.

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1. Being a misfit is something to brag about.
We have entered the age of the misfit. The Economist made a formal proclamation that business is benefitting from people with Aspergers, dyslexia and ADHD. At least twenty people sent the article to me, which makes sense, because I have all three. So I’m excited for my big moment, where ads for seven-figure job openings specify that the person should have all three of those mental aberrations. And I’m excited that the job opening will be for something where I don’t have to sit in an office all day long being nice to people, since I can’t do that.

2. The starving artist has made way for the SEO artist.
It used to be that there was no way to make money as an artist unless you could wow a gallery owner with your art, or sleep with him. Now, though, artists can take sales into their own hands.

3. Plagiarism is finally getting some respect.
Nick Denton, media mogel and fearless leader of Gawker, pointed out that most publications are reprintin

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Diagnosing someone with Asperger’s is not an insult, and suggesting that it is reveals the prejudice of the accuser.

I also find it interesting that seemingly everyone in the blogosphere can diagnose Mark Zuckerberg with Asperger without anyone raising a fuss; what makes the situation with Marissa Mayer any different?

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Penelope on marriage:

If you marry someone with a big career and you want to have a big career you have to find that rare mate who can treat you as an equal, even when your career needs to come first. These are very tough marriages to hold together because there is a constant, never-ending re-balancing of priorities and power between spouses.

If you marry a breadwinner who expects their career to come first, then things will probably only work if you can support that. Even if you have a career of your own. This is the easiest marriage to hold together (if any marriage can be called easy) as long as the man is the breadwinner.

If you marry someone who is terrible at earning money, or someone who is good at earning money but doesn’t want to, then you will have to take responsibility for earning the money.

In each of these cases, your career decisions are largely determined by who you choose as your mate.

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It's never good for one’s career to be in a room full of women unless you’re a model or a stripper. Because women choose lower-paying work, which means that where there are all women there are lower salaries.

There is not a salary gap between women and men. There is a competition gap between women and men. Women choose collaborative, feel-good jobs, like writing in the how-can-we-all-get-along-better section of BNET and men choose the competitive, dog-eat-dog jobs like managing all the feel-good writers on BNET.

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I just spent the last two weeks selling my self-published book. I published a book a few years ago with Time Warner, but I wanted to see what it would be like to self-publish. I decided against an ebook format because I really like holding the book of an author I love to read. I like living with that book in my house because it's like living with a friend.

So I went with a print book. And I did a lot of unconventional things – beginning with the announcement — and they paid off. So, here’s my advice on the new rules for self-publishing.

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One of Penelope's most candid and straightforward posts:

People need help. Look at yourself. Ask yourself if you need help. Believe me. You are not a uniquely, an unsolvable problem. Most of us are not complicated to a therapist in the same way that most of us are not complicated to a professional resume writer. We are complicated only to ourselves. The more impossible your problems feel, the more you need someone to talk with about them.

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So we have this guy trying to have sex with me, and he couldn’t find my vagina with his penis. And he was propped up on his arms. So he said, “Put me inside.”

I said, “What?”

“Inside you. Use your hand.”

“I don’t know where the hole is.”

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“There are a lot of holes down there. I don’t know which one is for sex.”

“You are so stupid.”

He eventually put his penis in. He said, “Am I in?”

I said, “I don’t know.”

Then he came. And I returned to doing homework.

***

We dated. To get rid of him, I told him I was a lesbian and I only wanted to date him if there could be another woman there, too. That didn’t just make him pursue me with more fervor. It made the whole trading floor pursue me. And I had no idea why.

***

I tell the farmer, "I can’t take it. All the subtle stuff you are doing is too much for me to read. I can't read it fast enough. Just tell me you want to have sex, and we do it."

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