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Links 1 through 10 of 11 by Viviane Tang tagged monogamy

I realize that I come to my poly from a place of queerness, where because of a long history of oppression, of being told our sex is bad, many of us hold onto and defend the beauty of our sexuality with great ferocity. I come to it from a place of kink, where we spend tons of time talking about how to play and have sex in ways that feel good to us. But whether you’re kinky or queer or poly, all of the above or none of the above, I invite you to join me in refusing to buy into any variety of “sex is bad” or “sex is less than,” no matter whose mouth it comes out of. Whether it’s conservative lawmakers, or our intimate partners; the American Psychological Association or our community leaders; the Religious Right or the sacred sexuality proponents.

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Um, yeah, since you asked – you’re snobs, ladies, and you are indeed pretty ass-backwards. The one-line disclaimer you tagged on at the end about how, oh, okay, you’ve learned your lesson and you won’t make fun of those crazy swingers anymore? I’m unimpressed. You are not qualified to write knowledgeably about a minority sexual community, because your outlook is provincial, your research is shallow, and you don’t even try to hide, let alone really examine, your bias. Stick to tips on blowjobs and pubic hairstyles, that’s about your speed.

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I've been told, many times, that the word "polyamory" is not really necessary, as it's simply a synonym for "open relationship" or "swinging" (or, depending on the person talking to me, "cheating"). This idea seems to assume that there's really only one kind of non-monogamy, which is kind of silly. I started thinking lately about the various ways in which a relationship can be non-monogamous, and the intersections between different sorts of non-monogamy, and after tinkering around with the notion for a while I've come up with this diagram.

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"Most people, particularly those who aren't in any relationships, don't want to hear the truth. The truth is: I have many dates. I have lots of sex. I don't want monogamy. My contentment puzzles and even threatens some people."

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I mean, look at him! He spends his whole essay constructing all these wishes, and wish fulfillments, and sociobiology, and outright denigrations (gee, wouldn't it be cool if a mistress wasn't any more expensive than a waitress) and he chucks it all up bec

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It’s the transformation of Other People from tantalizingly forbidden fruit into just another choice, one more potentially fun thing that I could theoretically be doing with my ever-vanishing spare time. It’s the transformation of Other People from hig

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Only 3 percent to 5 percent of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong, monogamous bonds, with the loyal superstars including beavers, wolves and some bats.

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...here’s a sampling from my monogamy without monotony workshop.

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